[Sept 2013] First Day of True Freedom

It is Friday morning, the first day of my new life when I have truly nothing to do. I have a few minor administrative duties at work next week, and a longer programming task with a loose deadline, but yesterday I decided to give myself a long weekend that includes today. Sophie went to work early morning. I woke up with her, but I went back to sleep after she had left. By the time I woke up again it was almost noon.

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[Jul 2013] Suffocating Feelings

It’s Saturday morning. Finally, thank God! I was waiting for this moment all week. Work consumed all my energy and nerves this week. Yesterday evening I didn’t want to do anything at all. I even canceled my date with Sophie. Instead, I stayed at home and went to bed early. I woke up several times. I can’t sleep long lately. In one of my last dreams already in the morning, I threw a little kitten into a river from a bridge, because she was scratching me. I ran after her because she was drowning in the water. I went in for her, took her and brought her out. I tried to resuscitate her, but I couldn’t. She was dead or at least seemed dead, I wasn’t sure. It was a terrible feeling. Then I woke up with this dream vividly with me.

Continue reading [Jul 2013] Suffocating Feelings