I feel an enormous black hole in my head. Cosmic, ringing emptiness. I feel like I have nothing to do and no reason to get up. I don’t want to see or hear anybody. I am afraid of everything and everybody. My body is one big cramp from head to toe. I decided yesterday evening that I would ask for an extra appointment with my therapist because I felt I hit the deepest bottom. And unlike ever before, this time I can’t see the way out. I am just sinking deeper and deeper every day in my anxieties and fears. I don’t want to suffer through any more days helplessly.
I am afraid of everything new. Everything that brings any kind of change. I am scared of turning on the radio in the car because of what I might hear. No kidding, I am serious. I can literally have anxiety attacks just by turning on the radio. I am afraid of the unknown subject they might bring up, and of its impact on me.