I woke up with eternal emptiness today. I felt like I had a fever. My body was aching, and I was terribly tense, or rather nervous. I was sleepy, tired, exhausted, and completely empty inside. After I had got out of bed, I had to realize that I didn’t have a fever, I didn’t have a sore throat, and nothing else was really aching in my body. Except the realization that I pushed my girlfriend away, and threw away an almost two-year-old relationship. In the last few days, after the fucked-up break-up, I hadn’t really dealt with it, I had repressed it somewhere deep down. I hadn’t given myself time to work through it, I buried myself in work and other duties instead. But this morning it all came back and warned me that I had more to do with it inside me. I am not feeling well, I have to give myself more time to work this through.