[Mar 2013] Relief in the Mountains

I still remember vaguely from morning, that the boys woke up and were preparing for the day, but I kept on sleeping. The next picture is one of my friends knocking on the glass-door of my room from the terrace. I opened the door, and the freezing cold air blew into my face. He asked me if I wanted to join him, but I said a firm no. I didn’t want to go anywhere. He went back skiing on the mountain, and I went back to sleep. I only woke up a few hours later. I haven’t had such a good long sleep for a very long time.

I got up and went out to the kitchen. I found some food in the refrigerator, that the boys had left here. Ham, cheese, orange juice, and fresh baguettes on the table. I had a very nice breakfast with an appetite I didn’t even remember I had. Sleep and food made me reborn again.

It was only a little after noon, and I knew the boys were going to return only in the afternoon. I had plenty of time to spend in the afternoon. Doing nothing seemed perfectly fine. I had a short meditation session, then I decided to get dressed and look around in the village. I was curious, and I knew we were probably not going to go there together anyway.

I walked really slow an easy, like someone who had really nothing to do. I just wanted to enjoy it. I felt like a prisoner, spending his very first day of freedom after many long years in jail. Everything was so picturesque and breathtakingly beautiful. Really neat little village, surrounded by huge mountains everywhere, with snow on their tops. The cold fresh air, that was so dense, that I was eating it rather than breathing it. It was cold, but I dressed up very warm, so I felt great. There was this beautiful church with a cemetery around it, lots of tombs in it. Nice, narrow streets, a brook flowing through the middle on the village, bringing water from the mountain. I walked down till the bottom of the valley, to the bottom of the ski-paths. I took a very good look at everything, like a new-born baby does. Nice cool breeze caressed my cheeks. I noticed the I was smiling unconsciously. There was a big smile on my face, and it had already been there for a while. Unstoppable, constant smile. I tried to stop it, just to see what happens, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t take it off my face, because I felt so good and blessed. Everything was all too beautiful and peaceful around me. Only one day after my horrible highway-incident, I felt this joyful and carefree. I didn’t want to believe I was here, and I was part of all this beauty and joy.

I slowly walked back up to our apartment, and meditated again. Then I called my family, one by one. I talked to my father, my mother, my brother, and finally to my girlfriend. She was very worried for me, so she was very happy to see me a little happier. I told them all the beauty I had just seen.

By the time the boys returned from skiing, I became nervous and tense again. I didn’t want them here, I didn’t want to adapt to them, it seemed too stressful. The clouds came back to my mind…

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