[Aug 2013] Denial and Forcing

I didn’t go to work today. This was the third day this week when I stayed home. I am writing and answering e-mails, arranging a few things, but I don’t have any errand to take care personally or any meeting to attend, and I don’t feel like meeting people anyway, so I rather stay home. Besides, the temperature outside is extremely high, that convinces me even more not to leave the apartment.

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[Jul 2013] What Am I Grieving for?

I had a horrible day. Another one. It is evening, and I am sitting on the bank of the river next to my favorite little promenade where I used to run. It is getting cold, I have put on my pullover. Tepid breeze is stroking my bare legs and my face. The river is flowing silently in front of me, almost without waves, but with a strong current. The sun has already set, but it isn’t dark yet. On the other side of the river, I can see an unknown, secret little world, with trees on the shore, behind them big factory buildings with lights. I see an anchored track-boat on the river, with flickering light from their cabin. I wonder how it would be to live on a boat like this, spending the nights alone on the river, on no-man’s land, entirely abandoned, near unknown shores, reading books by a candle. To me, it is tempting now. I desire for that loneliness, for that peace.

Continue reading [Jul 2013] What Am I Grieving for?