![[Apr 2013] Hope and Hopelessness](https://wayout.blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/hope.jpg?w=400&h=264&crop=1)
It really felt unpleasant to get up early morning. But I had to and I wanted to, for the mass for my father’s soul. I knew it was mere formality, and a better future might be ahead of me, after I had hit the bottom of the seemingly bottomless pit of suffering.
Tag: hope
![[Mar 2013] Death Sentence](https://wayout.blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/deathsentence.jpg?w=825&h=433&crop=1)
[Mar 2013] Death Sentence
Last evening I felt quite good, but I couldn’t fall asleep until very late, so I knew waking up this morning will be difficult. And it was, especially because I knew today was going be a very hard day. I started at the hospital in the city, meeting with my father’s oncologist, in order to talk about the results of the latest CT-scan and the things to come. Meanwhile my father had to go to the nearest hospital from their home with my mother, because he had water in his lungs, that had to be drawn out. I decided to turn off every communication tools, until I can talk to his oncologiest. Then I wanted to go home to them and tell them about the certainly bad news.
![[Febr 2013] False Hope](https://wayout.blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/falsehope.jpg?w=825&h=276&crop=1)
[Febr 2013] False Hope
I was walking in the backyard with my father at home. He was balming himself for not walking and moving enough. He thought he was feeling unwell recently because of this. He thought it was all his fault. I didn’t want to argue with that, but reality is that this has to do only with cancer, not him or anything else. He does the best he can, but sadly cancer is stronger than him, stronger than anyone. Or maybe it is not stronger, only cancer started with too big advantage.
The Way Out 